Build A Barbie Workshop

My sister, Bella, and I had lunch on saturday and met up with Ria for chocolate. And we got into this long conversation of how little girls are buying more “My Scene” and “Bratz” then “Barbie” Then we were wondering how desperate The Barbie company would get if they were ever in danger of losing their business. Here are our sugar-coated (because of all the icecream) ideas:

Insufficient Funds Barbie – This one comes with a credit card machine that barbie can swipe her credit card with and flashing words come up “DENIED”
Gender Bender Barbie and Ken – Girl by day, Boy by night and vice versa, comes with two outfits.
Bad Customer Service Barbie – She has a button on the back for some bad customer service lines such as “I havent checked but I don’t think we have any in the back” “I’ll be with you in an hour” (this one was created out of an inside joke)
Mainstream Barbie – Comes with an online code to order up to date mainstream items each month for your barbie. Current theme: Barbie wears a trucker with a stylish camoflauge parachute pants and a white wife-beater shirt and tie and a Justin To Kelly DVDGhetto Barbie – Comes with a slang book and bling bling (Gang sold seperately)
1337 Barbie – Comes with different facial expression masks (i.e. ^.^ ^.- -.- =^.^ speech bubbles (i.e. OMGZ, I luff joo, kawaii) and a cyber guide book, Linux keychain (cyber guide book in HTML sold seperately)
Three Divorces Barbie – Comes with her own lawyer.
Mid-life Crisis Barbie – Comes with her own lawyer, a pool boy named Pedro and Prozac.
AA Barbie – Comes with a meeting schedule and a Twelve Steps plan book.

Tune in next time for Unlikely Super Heros with our guest start Run Away From Danger Man!

New Guitar Strings Make Me Cringe

Vince stopped by today to drop of Ria’s psychology book and asked me to go to the Darkroom with him. DUN DUN DUUNNN
Not it’s not like that 😉 Vince is like….the brother i’ve always wanted to try and sell to the black market. Besides, he’s only asking me because I’ll shake the canister for 10 minutes without complaining. John was there and asked to buy my extra flute I just gave it to him. I owed him for that time he got me that sweet deal on enough guitar strings to last me a few years. Then he asked if he could buy my tenor sax, I had to say no to that one, it’s the only one I have and has years and years of using it as an excuse to skip in band class behind it.
Vince brought the guitar I lent him to string it at my house (I’m teaching him how to play) and while stringing our guitars, one SNAPS! and bitch slaps my wrist. Dammit.

Ria stops by to pick up the book Vince dropped off. We decided to go get some Cold Stone ice cream. Now check this out. We’re at the shopping outlet parking lot on the side where Cold Stone is. It’s crowded and we’re trying to find parking that doesn’t require us to walk a mile to get halfway there. So this crazy driver in a Scion pulls out of one of the parking rows out onto the main one without even STOPPING and ria has to slam on her brakes to not hit this jerk. We honk, he just looks back at us for one second and keeps on driving. Jerk. THEN as we’re about to pass the opening of this parking row we see someone start to back up, SCORE! But we notice the Scion see’s it too but he’s already PASS the opening and stops for a second then floors it. I’m thinking in my head “this son of a bitch is going to floor it, come around to the other entrance and try and get it!” Then I think, “no he’s not that stupid, we’re already here signaling” LOW AND BEHOLD that ass comes around the other entrance and starts SIGNALING for OUR parking space. At first Ria and I are speechless, we can’t believe this guy. Then we wait, and see if he’s serious and the fucker starts to get closer and closer as this person backs out. I’m at my boiling point now, I get out of the car and stand in front of his with my arms cross and wait there for Ria to park, then he actually starts YELLING at me to get out of the way. I smile at him, Ria parks and gets out of the car and he peels out of the row.
Of course i was satisfied that he didn’t beat us on this “Battle for the Parking Space” but equally pissed off at how much a jerk he was.
We had our Ice cream, it made me feel better. I had the Oreo Overload. Ria had Mint Mint Chocolate Chocolate Chip. Good stuff.
What is it bad driver month? One of my friends just got into a car accident because this jerk just pulled out of nowhere!
So for you Guam people, if you see that blue Scion with the red spoiler and spinners, KEY HIS CAR!!! KEY IT!!!!!!!! kidding, just watch your parking space man.

Conform

If all your friends were named Cliff would you jump off them?
You bet your mainstream dollar I would!

In the process of trying to leave a comment on a bands’ (Fooled By April -fooledbyapril.com- CHECK ‘EM OUT) i needed a blog account which ended up in me making a blog.

I lead a very uneventful life. I may have to live vicariously through other people for this to work . And you may want to slit your wrist. But if you play dashboard confessional while doing so…I will have to disown you.

Now get off this computer and go out and buy yourself a trucker hat!